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If I didn’t keep a journal, I would’ve remembered nothing—null, zero, zilch, nada!—from May. It is one of the (I’m sure) many downsides of having an erratic and very unhealthy sleeping pattern like I did during the entire month of May, especially towards the last week of the month leading to June. See, I slept at odd times. Sometimes I went to bed at noon. Sometimes in parts, two or three hour naps spread all throughout the entire day. Sometimes early in the morning and I’d joke about the irony of my entire family gearing up for another day while I’m just about to end the previous one. Sometimes in one big effort, sleeping in for a good 12 hours! It was so irregular that I wouldn’t even consider calling it a “sleeping pattern” since, in fact, there was no pattern at all.

In result, I had fluctuating energy the entire month that, maybe, I’m currently still nursing through, one week later in June. Time has become more elusive than it already was for a non-scheduled kind of lifestyle as well. And, my memory (that wasn’t very good to begin with) has taken the worst from such unhealthiness.

I do know I did a few things noteworthy in May. Although my short memory span has made things seem like a blur, a fleeting echo of a time long ago, I have that feeling. I know from the little I was able to write down in my journal. I know because of my journal—”I know!” I scream desperately while clutching my journal as if my life depended on it.

And, in retrospect, perhaps, it actually does.

The blog went over yet another makeover! Okay, I know that my blog’s template is always changing since I’m always tweaking my html codes live and the blog has never had a permanent—or even a semi-permanent—look that anyone would call this change anything noteworthy but, I swear, this time around is different and, truly, significant because I finally finished my new blog template after more than a month of coding! This is the very first template for my blog that I truly, completely, 100% finished and I’m so proud of it!

Before I start rambling with my excitement and smugness (though in good faith… I think), let’s backtrack a bit.

A bit of backstory: The one thing that discouraged me from blogging here in Blogspot before, opting to stay at Tumblr despite that the cons of personal blogging there was overweighing the pros a whole lot, was because I can’t edit the templates beyond the small number of options like font styles and sidebar-posts arrangement. Even with free templates found online, there was only so little you could change to make your template more unique to your blog. All of which was incredibly frustrating, especially for someone like me who loves customizing. I did recognize that I had the option of editing the HTML/CSS codes for free (unlike Wordpress which made Blogspot the only option apart from Tumblr) but Blogspot coding structure was so daunting to me even just by looking at it.

Then, all of a sudden, there was a a very big shift in my life that one coping mechanisms (let’s not talk about if said mechanisms were healthy of not…) I had was changing up the more “easy” aspects in my life just so I could say I did something, delude myself some semblance of control during a very rough patch. One of these was blogging. So, I switched over to Blogspot after years—although the later part was admittedly not very enjoyable—of using Tumblr as a blogging platform and forced myself to learn the daunting HTML/CSS codes.

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Hello! I… uh… I honestly don’t know where to start or how… or what to say. I’ve tried, sacrificing a few pages on my journal (because it’s where I am able to make sense of my jumbled and scattered thoughts) for drafts to no success. The fact that I haven’t written anything beyond my scribbles on my journal isn’t encouraging nor helping me at all as well. I did seriously consider to just move past this one, to be in my usual mode of in-denial but it seems very insensitive to. Besides, it seems so hard to ignore the elephant in the room when the elephant is as massive as the weight of the entire planet—5.92x10^24 kg, I mean, that’s really huge! And so… here we are.

I do apologize in advance if I end up (and it’s a very big possibility!) not making sense at all and thus waste your time by reading this blog post. My already poor linguistic skills are additionally very rusty.

20.

Yesterday, I finally got myself to start digging through the photos I have on my external drive. I have been putting this off since I have a lot—and I mean, a lot!—of photos on my drive and also, the mere thought of sorting the photos I have to my three categories: photos to keep for memories, photos of my so-called photography skills, and photos to delete to free up some space for all my other present and future data (and by "data" I mean the KPOP content and tv series I download lol) seems so tedious already. I am, if you haven’t already noticed, the laziest person in the world.

Anyway, I did do it! And in doing so, refreshed myself of the stories the photos represent so I decided that I’ll be sharing them here. Kinda like a throwback blog series of sorts? I will be start it off today with that time my family went to a beach resort called Bali Bali.

2018 - 01

Happy New Year, everyone!

How did you celebrate the New Year’s? Mine was a simple dinner with my family at around 9 pm because I was already too hungry to survive waiting for 12 am. Then I was jumping up and down by the stroke of midnight (my culture elders believe that when you jump during New Years, you grow taller!!) before I spent the rest of it comforting my dog who got scared by all the noise from the celebrations outside. It was very fun. I was with my family and the food was glorious and that’s all that matters, really.

I started reviewing my 2018 with almost two weeks still left for December. I wanted to get ahead of myself so I can blog about it early before the New Year’s but it only resulted to me sulking around the house for a few days when I realized that I did close to absolutely nothing this year thus producing, yet another, an unproductive and uneventful year. Truthfully, I berated myself for it.

But the funny thing was, the realization of what a good year 2018 was came through a dream I had on the first day of January 2019. It was just a random dream that I barely remember. I was somehow talking to some people in said dream and explaining what I learned in 2018. I (dream 'me') said that it was perspective.

Like the past 4 years, I challenged myself to another 100 Movies Challenge at the start of this year.

I first had the idea of this challenge when I saw one of my favorite Tumblr blog doing the same thing. She (the blogger) was a film major and watched and suggested a lot of movies that inspired and motivated me to love the art of movies more. Well, I’ve always loved movies growing up but this time around, my movie watching widen as I explored more genres and started to appreciate movies beyond the mainstream and my celebrity crushes.

My problem though is I usually go back to my favorite movies, watching them over and over again until I could almost recite their scripts perfectly (yes, I’m talking about you, Lord of the Rings!!) that I forget to explore new ones. So to challenge myself more, I decided not to include my “rewatch” on my list.

Additionally, I tend to slack off by the middle of the year that I haven’t completed this challenged for the past 4 years. The closest I had to completion was 55 films two years ago.

I’m hoping to change that this year no matter how slowly I’m (so far) going! I’ll be updating the blog weekly or bi-weekly about how my 100 Movies Challenge is going along with movie reviews as I’m trying to watch new movies as much as I can weekly as well. For starters, here are the movies I watched the last two months.

Remember when I promised to constantly update this space about 2-3 months ago? Well, it didn’t take me long to break said promise now, did I? Whoopsie.

The Excuse — Meet Blink!

I have been sort of busy along with my entire family on changing our routines and adjusting our daily schedules the last month since we got a puppy for my birthday! Yes, that’s right! I (finally) got myself a puppy! And I’m so happy!

I’ve always wanted one since I was a kid. Since our family moved into our current home almost 13 years ago to be more specific. But being an asthmatic (me and my dad, actually) and my mom not letting any pet in our home, I had to endure excruciating years of trying to convince my mom to get a dog and in the meantime, watch videos of cute puppy online. My mom only finally agreed when she was overruled by the majority vote and my dad and I bought a puppy for my birthday last February 19.

Anyway, we got our puppy on the 21st of February. She’s a Havanese and I named her Blink. (There’s nothing special about the name. I just like and found the name cool from the X-Men.) She’s 3 months old now so she’s a bundle of energy and hyperactivity unless she’s asleep. She’s also teething so everyone home is suffering and wearing bite marks. Yay!

January was interesting. It started quite uneventful but picked up by the second week and ended, sadly, in a negative note.It is true—well, at least for me—that the month felt like it went on for years like what almost everyone is saying on the internet. Although, I do think that the month only felt more eventful and slow than it actually was since I started journaling almost every day, about even the tiniest detail.

About three weeks ago marked the third year of my aunt’s departure from our world. I decided not to visit her resting place and instead wrote her a letter, feeling this way, I can properly and wholeheartedly talk to her. Though it got a bit overwhelming for me from time to time that this took me a week and I always had to pause to get a grip of myself here and there, I felt like a great load was lifted off my shoulders when I actually did finish writing.

This got really personal and I seriously considered not to post this. But life overall is currently heavy for me, I need to let out some things and, I don’t know, sharing on my blog, to strangers, is the most comfortable option I have compared to my other alternatives. Also, somehow, posting this on the internet makes me feel like I’m actually sending my letter to my aunt. Wherever she is, I hope she has good Wifi.

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December 2016 @ Mati City, Davao Oriental, Philippines

With the goal of blogging more regularly, I was thinking whether I should start a new blog series updated monthly or weekly. I was leaning towards a monthly series where, I think, there's a lesser chance of failing to commit, to be honest, but since I'm currently feeling very inspired right now, I figured I might as well make the most out of it and decided on a weekly series. May this inspiration carry through this series throughout the year!

The first week of the year was really boring. I spent almost the whole time sleeping as I suddenly got sick, coming from our Christmas family reunion. I didn't even get to celebrate and welcome the new year with my family. When I wasn't trying to recuperate, I was binge-watching Korean tv.

Well, is it? No? Yay!

If there’s one type of post that is extremely difficult for me to write, it would be the obligatory year-end recap. For one, I have a very crappy memory and bad sense of time that 2012, to me, still feels like last year (it’s been five years already—what?!) and quite literally at the last day of each year I would always go, “What the hell happened to me this year? Wait… no that was 3 years ago… I think.” I mostly rely on my social media posts and photos I took to remember the year’s events but since I’ve taken a step away from both things this year, I am coming up very, very… very short on recapping 2017.

The last week of October and the first two weeks of November have been eventful for me. Not in a way that a lot of 'events' has actually happened (I'm still the same home buddy!) but more of second hand experiences since I have been immersing myself to a lot of arts and new things that it honestly feels like a lot has happened, like I've been actually busy and living in reality. Is it weird for me to feel this way?

Anyway, here’s a new blog series I’m starting! Roughly inspired by the “Sunday Currently” going around on many blogs and my old series “The Week Ends” before I rebranded, I’ll be sharing things I have been busy and/or interested with by my blog’s main categories like read, watch, listen, and etc. You may ask why not just use Sunday Currently instead? The series feels a more ‘at the very moment' vibe to me which I don’t like. I mostly compile moments of my life then share on my blog and so here goes!